It’s scary how I always have the urge to be killed in a car crash. Just one boom and gone. Laying on the floor with a pool of blood and eyes open looking into the sky into the light. Never knowing if I ever left any memories to anyone. If anyone will even remember of my existence a few months from now. It’s very scary to think how insignificant a life can be to the world. How I’ll be just a dust particle in The next moment. Death is only glorious for a few days then from then on, people will start to move on and forget of this once living soul.

I suggest you bookmark this page for the day you realize why I said, I told you so.

Why don’t you tell me how life should be? Because, I really am very tired of living in it. I hate how I don’t have the courage to die. If I did I would. It really kills you inside to know that you’re friends with people who don’t even like you. It charges unbearable and painful stabs to the chest to know that you mean so little to everyone around you. You’re just a pain in everyone’s life and it would be a whole lot of an improvement if you just went away. You try your best to just be yourself and be who you think people accept you for. Yet, you’re just the part that everybody wants out of. I don’t like this feeling of betrayal. It just shoots at me telling me not to believe in others. The ones I though would be the friends who stood by you whether right or wrong are exactly the ones judging you.

Yeah, I do I wish I could see your face at 3 am in the morning as I like. I also know that I should stop all this and just plain stop. I don’t want to feel this pathetic and desperate. I don’t want to fucking be a fan girl to you.